In the past couple of days, I find myself thinking of suicide more and more often. Not in a killing myself way, but in a philosophical way. So, I decided to sit down and write out what I think suicide means to see if that will help my thoughts any.
To me, suicide is giving up nothing and everything. At that one moment in time, it may seem like a person has nothing at all - and that may be true - so they kill themselves. Yes, I know that might not be why people kill themselves, but bear with me here. But at the same time someone kills themselves because they have nothing, they are giving up the possibility that they might have everything. Still not making myself clear? Let me explain...
The person committing suicide gives up what might (and could) be in the future. Any chance of future love, happiness, sadness, friendship, employment, success...you get my point, right?
I know that I have my moments of suicidal depression (everyone probably does), but I'm going to try and remind myself of what I should live for when I have these moments. I should live for what I can't have if I kill myself.
I can have anything I want, but I have to work for it. There will be times I just want to give up and end things, I know, but I should stick it out - if only to see what will become of me - and I'll try my best to do so.
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3 comments:
Did you know that most people are not afraid of how they will die? Instead they are afraid of what they will miss.
I've said it before and i'm going to say it again. Giving up is easy, living is hard.
Love you. :)
Liz.
Ive thought about bringing the knife to my neck (in a figuritive sense) too jade. suicide is never far from me, you, me, and liz. we have a common thread, misery. but a common bond between us helps us all through the dark times.
L'armour,
Kate
I don't think I have misery in my life, Katie. I have my down times, but they don't happen that often anymore. And during these times, I may be depressed, but I'm not miserable. I'm happy with my life, my friends, my family. To me, if I was miserable, I couldn't be happy with any of that.
I agree with you completely, Liz. Living is hard because you don't know what to expect and you can never know if you're going to fail at whatever come your way. My biggest fear of dying is just not being able to think again. I know it sounds stupid, but I just have the thoughts that once I'm dead, I can never think again. I'll just be dead and I won't even know it just because you can't think and you don't know things after death. I'm sorry, that probably made no sense whatsoever.
--loves--
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